and then i dreamed that i died

my sleeping patterns are getting more and more erratic. this morning i woke at 4:30am. fully awake and wondering what to do for five hours until the rest of the world woke up. i pulled back my curtains and opened the window, listening to the birds greeting the lightening of the sky. i tried to fall back to sleep, but when that proved futile, i made out a packing list. (and i'm so glad i did, or i would have forgotten my pyjamas.)
eventually after 6, i managed to fall back to sleep, and as i slept i dreamed.

i was in a girl's house, trying to get home after a party or something. everyone else had left, drove home, but i had to get the bus. i was packing my stuff up and looking over the girl's hairbrushes. i showed her a pound coin from new zealand - it was all blinged out and played a music video. then her sister came into the room and said to me "come on, leave", to which i replied "one minute."
as she stood in the doorway, i looked out past her - to the sky, all orange and purple like a violent sunrise. i didn't want to leave and go out into this light.
then i was in my room at home and it was 9am, but it was so dark. i looked out my window at the same sky - purple / orange with huge clouds, thick and heavy and creamy, and looking like cauliflowers. over in the east corner of the estate it looked like a cloud had enveloped a house, but before i could register what it was, i heard a man cry out, "get down. here comes another one."
i jumped from the window and curled up on my floor as the ground shook and i heard a massive explosion. Cradling my head and balled up in the foetal position, my last thought was "this is it - i'm going to die." i didn't want to believe that i was actually about to die in a bomb blast, but at the same time i accepted it totally, no use fighting it. then i felt the heat and everything went black and i was floating and not feeling anything and i thought "this can't be death. i expected something more." and my conviction that i had died waned and i struggled to wake up. but i did wake up and my heart was pounding, but i was glad to be alive.

by that stage it was 7:15am and i figured i'd had enough of bed for today. so i got up, had a shower, got dressed and packed (using my handy list that i'd made earlier).