15 December 2006

my life as it stands right now

wow - this is a bit wierd, isn't it? ahhh - gak. the fon't isn't clunky courier anymore. noooo - bring it back, bring it back - i can't write in ariel. i hates it. (pagan / trickster moment there)

i have stopped writing. i am re-plotting. i have come to the bit i stopped writing at in my original plot and i am stuck again. this bit has some kind of internal flaw but i'll be damned if i know what it is.

i downloaded the prince of persia two thrones soundtrack yesterday. it's really good. i had most of it already on the trilogy ST, but i now have the music from the lower tower, which (in my opinion) is the most meloncholy, lonely, futile, disillusioned but persevering 'cause you have nothing else left to you, dramatic, weak / strong music ever. it is really cool in the game. Farah has been kidnapped by Cervan and you have to get to the tower to stop him - the dark prince has almost taken you over and nothing is going well. so you go on, because you love farah even if she thinks you are helplessly evil. yea - its good. damn, those games are so good.

i'm still playing thief: deadly shadows too. garrett as invaded my dreams. how does he manage to do that? i start playing thief and within a few days i'm dreaming of garrett. no other character features so strongly in my dreams - even all the hours i put into the elder scrolls games or prince of persia. none of my writing characters have been in my dreams, so what is it about garrett? hmmm - oh well.

indeed. that is all i have to say right now. bye.

30 November 2006

i finished the nanowrimo on sunday or whatever and since then i've written about 500 words. but this is ok. i realized some time ago that my world was not working out at all and i've been overhauling it: giving the angels a realistic background, making up a history for zachery - a proper one. but that has been sideline stuff. i'm painting a pic of zachery and azrynn at the moment (of the scene i'm at in the novel) and zachery is seeming really vampire-like. the new history of archangels has them start off as normal people on altara (the world of the angels) and they die and are reborn as archangels - hence the pale skin and not needing to eat or sleep. and before anyone asks - no, they don't need blood to survive - they need magic, and no - they don't take it from angels.

so, yea. i'll be getting back to writing on monday, probably. i want to get this pic finished. it will hopefully be good - it has an elabourate background, but the characters are looking a bit wierd + i don't know what's wrong with them. oh well. i also realized that i can't do fabric to save my life. its eluding me - i think it has for a while... no - wait, zel's jumper looked quite cool. i was really dissappointed with the finished piece of that. the background ruined it, i think. oh well. now - back to art!

26 November 2006

how goes the novel?

ooh, livejournal is being wierd. i got a wierd message when i opened the site:
[Error: Database handle unavailable at /home/lj/cgi-bin/LJ/User.pm line 370. @ w112]
oh well.

the nanowrimo group met today. me, claire and kate were there.
did i mention that i have reached "the middle" of my novel and have come to a standstill because i've realized that the archangels are acting like children and my demons are clisched and nothing really makes much sence. my major serious stall at the moment is that zachery really has no reason to hang around with azrynn.
and i still have a serious problem with people not reacting properly. ooh, look our world is about to be destroyed, ok, but we'd prefer to comment on your hair! wooo woooo. yes, so much work is required.

and that is really my news.

17 November 2006

4,000 words part III

ok, some time has passed (in which time i watched the transporter). i can write again.

for the record:
the way to write 4,000 words in one day is to start early - before 12 and set yourself a goal to do 4 pages. by the time that 4 are done you will be somewhere near 2,000 words. you will feel like giving up. so the cure is to do sprints, 15 minute ones. (i got 560 on one and 400 on another.) then you're almost at 3,000. then it's the most massive struggle to get the last 1,000. but you just type each word, forcing it from your brain and not caring how it lands on the page. this will be nine or ten hours after you started, so be sure you have the time.
and why do you do this? to get to the top of your regional, genre leaderboard and have some hope of staying there. ooh yes, competitiveness is fun.

4,000 words part II

i did it. i wrote 4,051 words today. i have nothing left in me.

16 November 2006

4,000 words

i've set myself a mini-goal to write 4,000 words in one day and it is really difficult. i started it yesteray and got 1,994. today i'm just over 2,000 (but i have time to write still. even if i am getting tired). it is seriously hard. i don't know how some people are at 100,000 words already. (yes - i have seen one person at this count). even the people at 50,000 are doing well. buh - i just don't know how they did it.
well today - i think i should make 3,000 at least. if i can coax another 1,000 words from my brain. that would be cool. that would cover the last scene of chapter 4 and then i'd be onto chapter 5 + that is when everything starts to get really good.

apart from that i havn't much to say.


i had a cold-sore last week and its at that point of healed where its a cut on my lip. i woke up this morning and there was this lump of caked-on, dried-in, black blood where the cut is. it took a while to wash off. then this evening i was having a chicken in bread thing for dinner and on the first bite the cut ripped open and i had blood flavoured dinner for a bit afterward.
yes this is really gross - but its my journal and i can write about this stuff if i want. at least i had the deceancy to put it under a cut (heh heh - pun!! wheeee)



oh god - hyperness. i've been writing too long. buh.

i had the strangest dream last night. in it, i was a person (as you are) and i was in this hotel lobby kind of place. it seemed like some kind of airport hotel cause there were loads of travelling-seeming people there. (and something about a bus parked out the front??). anyway. there was a guy sitting at a coffee table thing to the right of the door, facing a large window. it was bright. he had a pen + it had writing on it (some company name, or his name or something. well - his name was paul but there was something different on the pen - which suggested he was not who he claimed to be). then something wierd happened and he squirted something from the pen into my mouth or in some other way got something from the pen into me.
the next bit i remember is me, hanging onto a pillar, with my hands reaching behind me and my feet hunched up and gripping the pillar - my front was facing the room. then i dove into the lobby and around a corner to a table to the left of the door. it was darker over here - there were no windows. there was a guy there talking to me about the way i felt or something. i felt strong and powerful. he was saying i could feel this way all the time + i just wanted to trust him, but something seemed sleazy about him. like a charm or something. or maybe he was nice and i was paranoid or something. but anyway: it was one of those beautiful dream feelings where you just feel totally secure and safe and nothing can touch you - that's they way his words made me feel.
i wish i could remember it a bit more clearly. there was way more at the start, involving houses and trains and having to be in the south and not knowing how to get there and stuff. and there was something about my mothers family and a walking house - that was eventually how i got where i was going. oddness.

633 words wasted on this post. blah. i feel bad. (643 now).

14 November 2006

i should be writing

yesterday was a kind of strange day - full of down and then up. i woke felling absolutely terrible, "why should i get out of bed" kind of terrible. but i did get out of bed + ended up crying over breakfast + my depression fixated on the fact that penelope_stone is way more enthusastic about driving than i am. so that was quite bad, but i talked about it (didn't really help much). so i moped a bit + felt awful (much to the enlivenment of the annoying rational voice at the back of my mind "my eyes look amazingly green when i cry" was one of its nicer comments. yes i am rolling my eyes.)
so i felt a tiny bit better and then daddy (having been told the story by mammy) came up and asked if i wanted to go driving. i said where to + he said blarney and i said sure.
so i drove to blarney and beyond. it had its ups and downs. many hill starts (deadly) and narrow roads (scary) and traffic on the dual carrigeway (indifferent). i nearly gave daddy a heart attack when i swerved infront of a van thing. he told me to pull into the inside lane and i did - just a little too early! heh - it was funny. i conked out sooo many times though - that wasn't really funny. ah well - i just really ignore the cars around me. i think i'm a dangerous driver, especailly on the dual carrigeway: change lanes, ok - the other cars will get out of my way. (no - i'm not quite that bad.)

so then when we got home i started writing and wrote 2,000 words in three hours. it was so cool. i skipped onto chapter 3, which is full of action and thrills and destruction. so it was easy to write. and i dug a load of old soundtracks out and listened to them for inspiration: stargate is a good battle-orientated one. i was sorta thinking about making a few playlists - like: battle, dialogue, pleasant walk, tension, etc, to enhance my mood while writing. that would take a lot of time though. i need more soundtracks though. i have about 10, but its just not enough.

so that's about all i have to say.
goodbye.

12 November 2006

more on writing: worries this time

woo - cork nanowrimo meet-up today. i hope that goes well. i'm very curious, i've never been to a meet-up before.
i struggled all day yesterday with my novel. i've come to the conclusion that i don't know Demina well enough (she's Zachery's second and the closest thing to a antagonist). Scenes with her in them just drag by and i get totally disillusioned. That and more plot holes have been rearing their heads. It is quite a problem having a cast full of super-powerful characters. i have to keep thinking up limitations for them + these limitations start to smell quite bad of plot holes after a while.
i did a sprint last night (that's where you try to write as much as you can in 15 mins - people usually get 400 - 600 words). i got 170 or something. it was nothing, but it did work - it forced my brain to get off the couch and actually think up how the magic was going to work. this is another problem i have: i am detailing how every spell works - how its cast, what the caster has to do, its effect after its cast. it is real brain-drudging stuff. but its fun when its done. and then i ask myself - what is the point of writing in all this magic. and i answer: detailed atmosphere. hmmmm!
i have also realized that my novel has no real focus or bad guy. its just stuff happening and then repercussions from that stuff. but that's ok - it is a story about zachery, not about zachery seeking such and such in order to stop a great evil or whatever.
so yea: i figure i'm boring everyone with these writing posts, but they arn't going to stop until the novel is finished. so - hah!

oh - yes. i had a slight depression this morning and was seriously considering giving up on driving. i see askea being so enthusastic about it, but to me learning to drive is a horrible chore that i have to force myself to do. i'm having driving nightmares and it keeps me awake and stuff. i'm really not having fun.

11 November 2006

writing article

i found a really good article yesterday - for all the struggling writers out there. i've been really struggling with the words of my story - i can't help but thinking some parts are so awfully dull - almost to the point of: It was a sunny day. Zachery walked out the door of his tower and glanced around. Altara sparkled in the bright light.
blah - not very inspiring writing, really. so last night i googled descriptive prose and the first site i went to was this article on prose. it was exactly what i needed - especially the bit where he went on about how describing the situation through your main character helps build that character.
sometimes i think a writing course would be good for me!

05 November 2006

Winter Dreaming

I wrote 3,000 words today. I'm shocked. That is really amazing! I'm think i'm finished chapter one though (i say think because there are two scenes still left, but i think they would do better in chapter 2). Its cool. Chapter one is 12 pages (9,000 words) long. That's kinda long.
The reason why i wrote so much today is because i only wrote 2 sentences yesterday. Me and daddy went to the beach instead. It was amazing: a perfectly clear winter's day. The sun was warm, there was no wind and it was dry. The tide was in (just turning) and the waves were huge. They crashed against the rocks throwing spray ten feet into the air. It was refreshing and invigorationg.
We stayed for the sunset. Then on the way home the temperature dropped rapidly and we could see fog forming on the hills around kinsale. It was mystical - the sky was a deep red fading to indigo, the hills were ghostly. It seemed like something straight out of fairyland. It was cool.

So yea: i havn't much else to say.

03 November 2006

the nanowrimo

yesterday and the day before didn't go so well. i got off to a bad start what with it being the day after halloween and me having work. so i got a little over 1,000 words that day. then yesterday i did better with 2,000. but i still hadn't caught up to where i was supposed to be. Today i wrote 2,863 words, bringing my total to 5,875. Today i was supposed to get to 5,001. so this makes me a happy person. I fianlly got into the flow today aswell. for the last 2 days i'd been writing terribly - piling on the exposition, the explaining setting and characters in a non-fun and dull way. But today i got onto a good adventurous bit and it was good. Nicodemus, the imp, is turning out to be my favourite character so far. I fear that i havn't been doing poor zachery justice at all. I havn't developed his character + he seems limp and faint. This will change.
ooh, yes. i'm only half way through chapter one of seventeen. i am not going to get this novel finished by the end of november, even if i have 50,000 words.

Anyway: tomorrow is saturday. saturdays are never good for me, i never have motivation to do anything. and on top of that i have to be up at 7 for work, so i will be tired to whole day too. I expect tomorrow could be quite a struggle.

anyway - i must go for a shower now, buh. then i'll go to bed and read for a crazy long time (i'm finding it very hard to read jonathan strange and mr norrell slowly).

right so, bye.

17 October 2006

the silly things that make up life

just saw cowboy bebop the movie. i can't believe i didn't watch it sooner. it was so cool. spike is totally mad. and so is ed. i think she was my favourite character. i just want to watch it again now - the sign of a good movie.

i went into town earlier today and got material for my halloween costume. i picked up some nice bits and fleece for a plushie (or 20).

penelope_stone's fishtank is badly infested with algae, i changed thier water today + that'll have to be done every day until the algae goes away.

ooh - actual news. i finished the outline draft for "fall" today. its 16 chapters plus a pro- and epilogue. i'm a little worried about it, though. it dosn't have a happy ending. it has a very sulky, depressing ending. i hate books that don't have happy endings. ah well: the trilogy will end well. i just hope anyone that reads it can stick it that long to get to the happy ending.

02 October 2006

a bland post

i set up a home network today. that was fun. i printed a page from my computer on daddy's printer. it was really mad - i was jumping around like a mad thing. oh, to be easily pleased is definitely the best thing in the world. i called the connection "theVoid" - daddy liked it!
yea - i'm thinking about getting a laser printer. i figure that it would save me lots of money in getting drafts printed and stuff. not sure - i'm kinda thinking i should save the money and use it for my new-zealand visa instead.

i really havn't anything much to say: "Fall" plot outline thing continues in a whole heap of depth, all archassembly and devils' council have names and attributes.

ooh - i finished a painting yesterday, one of zel that i've been working on for almost a year and a half - i'm really going to have to speed up with paintings. anyway, i've not put it up on my site yet - but it is on deviantArt, just go to zarkia.deviantart.com and scroll down a bit to the most recent pic.

ok then, bye.

27 September 2006

new userpic for a bad day

today has been bad. the weather is awful (depressing) and i've not even looked at fall (working title for my nanowrimo). i'm doing a snowflake (this'll make sence to those few friends who read the nano community) and i've decided to do a paragraph on all 13 members of the archassembly of angels and i'm also thinking i'll have to do one for all 13 members of the devils' council. anyway: i don't want to face it today, i'm not in the mood.

16 September 2006

lots of news about lots of stuff

my editing of zan / kej goes on. every day i say "i can get this finished today" and everyday i close having more to do. at this stage i'm just reading it out loud (thanks for that suggestion leinsterbard) to make sure everything sounds good - no repeated words and commas in the right place and stuff. i've tagged a few paragraphs for an overhaul, but just haven’t the willpower to go at them yet. i'm waiting for inspiration. i'm a firm believer that no idea should be a struggle, you just have to wait for the inspiration. of course sometimes it takes forever to get here. anyway. i'm also half way through the plot outline / synopsis for my novel. it also needs a name, probably something with "fall" in the title. zan / kej also needs a title. ah well.

ps - listening to really loud music and singing along does not help with editing.

08 September 2006

editing

oh my god! how does anybody do editing? its the most difficult thing in the world. i mean, writing the damn thing was hard enough, but then realizing that what you wrote is flawed and having to think of a different way to do it... its really stressful. i'm supposed to be taking it easy. but this editing malarkey and learning to drive has me totally on edge and unable to sleep. i'm totally all over the place and i can't pull myself together enough to focus on the changes i have to make to my story. ahhhh.
and so i procrastinate by writing to my journal and checking my friends page - this has to be the 4th time today. not good. i guess it dosn't help that i've been left alone all day. i think i'll stop now, though and pl...
whey - mammy and daddy just came home! woo. and what's better is that seeing them gave me the motivation to write a whole new paragraph that explains Kej's point of view nicely. now just to find a different word for unreal.
wooo!

07 September 2006

news about happy things

i got new leads for my pencil, so can write my nanowrimo outline with a good pencil - my faber castel one that adi gave me in germany - my favourite pencil. that's going well. i made the archassembly yesterday: they are shaping up to be a pretty cool group. they're reminding me of neil gaiman's endless (is that what they are called? dream, destruction, delirium, et al). i hate having to come up with names though, i have one and a half, i need 11 and a half more. buh. anyway - its good.

i'm also starting editing my zan kej story, thanatos_elnyx made some really good points, trying to incorporate them is a little challanging, but well.

ahhh - i'm so happy: i wish i had more to say. anyway, i guess i'll go. there's a short story festival on in town sometime soon + i want to go look up info on what's on. there's workshops - you never know, i may just pick up some improvement points.

right, so. bye.

29 August 2006

i did it

i finished it. whaaaaaaa. finished what i started just less than a year ago. draft no 1 is 40 pages and just shy of 30,000 words. amazing. i can't believe it. i'm so happy. now i have to proof read it, get others to proof read it and then it will be totally finished.
i still don't have a title, though. and i already have plans for a sequel and a prequel. heh. wheeee.
ok bye.