28 December 2008

heading into the new year with a smile and a dance

got to spend 3 full days at home and it was great. between eating too much, walking in forests, walking on beaches, going out with friends, it was like a a little slice of reality in all this craziness of work hatred. and i'm heading down again for new year's. i'm really looking forward to it. life is so much better when you have something to look forward to. and lordkilljoy is back up on tuesday. yeay - i don't have to spend so long on my own. and i got an unlimited cinema card, so now i don't have to pay for tickets any more.

i really love my new camera too. it has the coolest features.





it does colour swapping and colour accenting. and you can take shots in a night club without using the flash (yes it's at 3200iso, but it's still better than horrid flash shots), it does macro and it has full manual control (which rocks).

i can't really think of anything else to say. i got the train up this morning and was in work for 12:10, after going out last night. and my fingers are freezing, so i'm just going to go to bed and warm up and sleep and hopefully will have a bit more energy tomorrow.

it's really great having something to look forward to. it really makes work not seem that bad at all.

ok - i really have to go to bed now.

22 December 2008

happy winter solstice, and happy birthday to thanatos_elnyx.

i'll try to get around to posting properly at some stage. i'm back playing fallout3 - it's a big black hole of time and interest.

18 December 2008

a squirrel

i saw a squirrel in a tree the other day. this might not seem amazing to anyone who lives in a squirrel-infested country, but for me it was a surprise. i think i've seen about 2 other squirrels in ireland ever.
i just wanted to say that.
i don't really have anything else of merit to say.
i am eating dinner way too fast.

16 December 2008

super-powered dream

I had an insanely crazy dream last night. me and a group of people had some kind of super powers and we wanted to break out of the system or something - i can't really remember. the once scene i can remember clearly is me and another guy juicing oranges in a compressor-thing, like they have at juice bars. we were doing this because of some woman, because we wanted to make her suffer or just abuse her stuff or something. we were also looking for a place to stay - all of us who had the powers, but we didn't want to live together. we wanted places like old castles and churches, gothic sort of buildings. and from our ancient abodes we could do anything we wanted.
i think there was a lot more to it, but it's not coming back to me.

got mostly the end of my christmas shopping done yesterday. got something for lordkilljoy and i know what i'm getting for davidnarby.

i'm almost finished prince of persia, and last night i pulled off my first combo. that's not good - it took me the whole game to learn how to pull off one. and there's supposed to be loads of them. oh well.

heh - a crow just landed on the light outside and it turned off. like most people probably would, i assumed the two events were linked, but they weren't. all the lights on the row have turned off. that was mad.

ok, i have nothing else to say.

15 December 2008

HCl dream

I had a really wierd dream last night. I can't remember how everything tied together, but it involved hydrochloric acid and poeple's bones being turned to dust within thier skin. there was one image with a guy in a hospital and his hands were covered in a metal exoskeleton. then there was another bit with me being lost in a city, not even knowing what city i was in and wandering around hippie shops looking at pretty clothes and things. the last bit i can remember was in an old temple in fiji or the caribbean somewhere and there was an old scientist researching the temple because it was the source of the HCl. There were steps leading up to the cavern inside the temple, but the steps were wet with HCl and people were getting it on thier clothes and hands. the last scene was two local girls laughing and smiling running down a beach while the scientist (?) took photos of them.

it was quite disturbing, actually.

12 December 2008

things

I applied for a new job yesterday. The last straw in my patience with the company i'm working for now was the rota for next week. i'm working 46 hours and have only one day off. i nearly cried when i opened the email and looked at it. but it did give me the kick up the bum i needed to actually go look for a new job. and it's pretty silly. they gave me so many hours in an effort to get more sales, but i am going to be way to tried to actually sell anything by next week. pah - working 7 days in a row and them having one day off. then i'm guessing i'm not going to have a day off until christmas day. but that would be 7 consecutive days without a break and that goes against my contract... so we'll see.

in other news - excellent news - lordkilljoy got me a bike for christmas :) it's cool. the guy in the shop let me cycle it around for a bit last night and it's amazing how a new bike works. not like my bike, which has some problems.

i had a wierd / cool dream last night where i was a tourist wearing a cross and a photo of the pope and people thought i was "a little bible girl." there was a castle-type-thing with a view over the town and out to the ocean. as i was exploring the castle a massive wave came and drowned everything and we could see fish swimming around out the windows.
that was the quick and nasty version of my dream, it was actually quite good.

08 December 2008

the games i'm playing

in the past 8 days i have played and finished little big planet, played and loved prince of persia, not played fallout3, watched lordkilljoy set up his new pc and crank WoW settings up to full (it does look pretty), contemplated moving my oblivion save games over to said computer to check out what a high-spec system can do with it, picked up my new camera, tested to make sure it worked, and my cold has improved a lot.

yea... little big planet is very addictive. even though i finished the story levels, i can't stop thinking about it. i want to design a level, but i'm not sure what to do - i want something that will work like a domino effect, where you start falling and hit something which falls over and hits something else and you go flying up in the air and stuff. but it might be a lot of effort and trail and error. but i feel somewhat up to the challenge.

prince of persia is good - extremely pretty. the price is kinda the same as usual, with his silly comments and brashness. though this time around he seems to care more - i guess because he's not quite as stuck up as the prince from the sands of time trilogy.

i don't have much else to say, really. i'm seriously considering getting a new job. not having weekends off is making me very depressed, because i don't get to do anything really interesting with lordkilljoy. it would be nice to have a full day off together to go into town, or off on a day trip or whatever.

ok - i'm going to go play little big planet now.

01 December 2008

winter mornings

i fell over on my bike today. please note the distinction from falling off my bike - i was stationary when this happened. it was really frosted over and icy this morning, so i cycled carefully into work, not speeding down the hill like i normally do and going at a generally slower pace. so i made it to the bike railings in work just fine, but just was i was getting off the bike, the one leg i had on the ground slipped causing me to fall and my bike to fall on top of me. i'm sighing and rolling my eyes at myself. so after all of that, i have a slightly sore wrist and probably a bruise on my bum.

did i mention i have a cold at the moment? i'm heading into day 3 with it, and things are getting better. i hope it's gone by tomorrow.

two days off tuesday and wednesday - wooo! ugh - i can't say woo anymore without thinking of the episode of "how i met your mother" that featured woo-girls. it's really annoying.

the weekend was good - what little i caught of it. we played wipeout for a bit and marvel alliance or something. it was just about the worst game i have ever played. (no offence or anything to mulkabu and lordkilljoy, who enjoyed it a bit more because they knew all the characters.)

tonight i am going to come home and write 500 words, or for an hour (which ever comes first). i find that 500 words is impossible and takes an hour. 1,500 takes an hour and a half - it's just that getting started bit that takes ages, but i will write 500 words today.

28 November 2008

Nanowrimo

I got the 50,000 words today. In celebration I chose my christmas present and ordered it - it's a canon ixus 980is camera. We have the ixus 80 in work and i quite like it. but i want a compact digital camera that allows you to manually change all the settings, and especially iso, aperture and shutter. so i ordered that today and hopefully i will have a collection confirmation by monday. hopefully, anyway.

so yea - 50,000 words. i really struggled at the end. i got to a point where i have absolutely no idea how things are going to happen next. but i have the word count so i just stopped, in the middle of a paragraph. if i find time before sunday i might try to get a little more done.

mmm... i have no news, really. lainey316's birthday is this evening. that should be some fun. mulkabu is up for the weekend. I'm working saturday and sunday, but some fun should be had in the evenings anyway.

I'm really excited about my camera :)

24 November 2008

a theraputic rant

i don't know why hoovers annoy me so much, or why i really really hate hoovering. i've just finished hoovering the apartment and i feel like killing something right now. i suppose it dosn't help that my hormones are all over the place today, but still. why can i not just accept the hoovering and do it in peace? because the stupid thing bumps into everything and the wire gets caught around stuff and it dosn't just hoover bits of string up in one pass and the elephant trunk thing likes to do silly dances around me, like some kind of over-enthusiastic snake dog thing. haaaa - it's actually exactly like some kind of silly puppy who really just wants to please you, but who's pathetic cuteness is grating when all you want to do is make it stop. just act like a serious thing and stop kidding around! maybe if a hoover had a cute face and made cute noises when you rubbed it, i wouldn't find it quite as offensive as i do.
right - this rant isn't really helping me calm down any. maybe it's the loudness of the hoover that gets to me. because, really, it shouldn't make me feel this bad. it's just a silly machine that sucks things up and follows you around and makes loud noises. and the place does look better afterwards. hmmm. perhaps it is the noise of it. i feel better now that i think i've found the source of the annoyance. next time i'll wear earplugs. and put on ravel's piano works or something.

yea.
now i have to go to the village and get breakfasty sort of ingredients. and then i have to come home and write loads (i wanted to get ahead of my word count today) and then i hope lordkilljoy hasn't forgotten that we had sorta thought about going to the cinema tonight. ooh - maynooth is getting a cinema. it's so cool having a cinema just down the road. you don't need to plan in advance to go.

ok - i feel like usual bubbly self again. thanks again Lj therapy!!

20 November 2008

shopping

nano goes well. it's my first topic of this post, because i have made a decision to update my journal, rather than get a few words towards today's word count. i'm on target, with my 1667 words per day.

i went on a mini buying spree yesterday. i went into town (dublin) and bout lots of underwear (including a new pyjamas), a nice zip-up top and needles and thread. ooh, and blue fairy lights to make the sitting room look nice. lordkilljoy's reaction was quite reserved, so i'm not really sure what he thinks of them. well, i'm sure he thinks i'm totally crazy, but i amuse him, so he keeps me :)

i'm still playing fallout 3 - progressing really really slowly, i only reached level 4 after a week of playing or whatever. i've started soul bubbles on ds too. it's really cute and fun. thanks to frosthearted for telling me about it.

hmmm... i don't know what else i have to say. i suppose i'll just go.

18 November 2008

the weekend in cork

before livejournal goes down today i would like to say that the train goes really fast. distractingly fast, actually - i was glad it was dark or i would have gotten no writing done.

my weekend was excellent. got home to see my parents and taleweavers people, and the random animals who hang around our house. had a lovely dinner of salmon pie on sunday and went into town on monday (i tried to buy lots of stuff, but ended up with just new gloves which i bought because the material was so soft).

last night i dreamed of looking for a car at a dealership in the middle of a post-nuclear-looking town. that's what i get for watching top gear and then playing fallout3 before bed. i'm really enjoying fallout3.

right - got to go water the bonsai.

14 November 2008

going home

I have this kind of travel problem. I'm going home for the weekend, and I have train tickets booked, but I don't believe that I'm actually going to get on the train. I will only believe it once I am actually on the train and it starts moving. The same thing used to happen to me every time we move on to somewhere new while travelling across the world. So I should be excited about the weekend, but i'm just dubious. It's kind of awful.

As you can tell, I'm getting very little writing done :( I'll have so much to do on wednesday (my next day off after the weekend*)

*the weekend being sunday and monday.

work peeves

my lungs are not invincible, and wearing my scarf around my mouth does actually help with cold getting into them. it was pretty mild today, so i decided to try cycling back to work after lunch without my scarf around my mouth. my lungs were burning with cold after the 7 minute cycle. at least i know that my scarf is actually doing a lot of good. i don't just look like some hippy bandit raider.
i grow sicker of work every day. they are so unrealistic. they want us to sell the same amount of laptops we sold this time last year and they don't want us selling anything under €900. people just don't have that kind of money any more.
i also don't think i'm really cut out for sales. i'm too used to being poor and not buying things, so when people come in to buy stuff, i don't know how to convince them - 'cause i'm good at talking myself out of buying stuff. i also don't believe in convincing people to buy stuff they don't need; like when someone comes in for one thing and they go out without that one thing, but with 5 other things they didn't need.
:sigh: we'll see how stuff goes in a month and a half - my 3 month trail is up then.

right. now i must write. i have just under 3,000 words to do tonight. i'm a glutton for punishment. but i'm really suffering week 2 doldrums. i just have no motivation at all. oh well.

11 November 2008

nano troubles

For the first time since nanowrimo started, i am using livejournal as a procrastination measure. things are not going well today, and i have no idea why not. i'm in the middle of a scene, i know how things will play out (more or less), everything should be flying. but it's not. it's crawling and i feel absolutely terrible. buh. i think i miss zachery. he keeps popping up in people's memories - a little way of getting him in there. writing twilight especially makes me want to have zachery in there. because, while she's nothing like him, she has knowledge like he did - only not on the same topic, obviously.

i was trying to get 6,000 words done today, but i totally lack motivation. i'm going slower than ever and have no flow at all.

not even this journal entry has flowed. i've stopped about three times because no words will come to me. my brain is empty of everything.

07 November 2008

more nano ramblings

i'm still in the green zone with my nano effort for this year. getting going today was a bit of a struggle. i wrote nothing this morning, about 100 words at lunch, but got into a good flow this evening. well, a little slow, but still got done by 9. i kinda had to be done by then because i had to go into work to close up (greg had no keys). so i jogged the last 500 words and did them in half an hour. i remember the last nano (last year doesn't really count, cause i got all of 8,000 words or something) 500 words taking about 4 hours or something. it's kinda mad when you are stuck for time, you do push yourself to work faster. i actually think things are working out better this year... but then i wonder does being 2 years older make a difference?

anyway. that's really all i have to say. professor layton, here i come for an hour or so :)

06 November 2008

nano records and other news from the front

i wrote 3,764 words in four hours today. That is totally a record for me. I think 4,000 is my record and that took about 10 hours or something. I think i'm getting faster :) having motivation to get done really helps. lordkilljoy is going to be home any minute and i wanted to be able to spend the evening with him. but i wanted to do that without worrying about how i didn't make my word count for the day. we're planning on going to the cinema. i'm happy, if tired. writing that much really takes it out of you. and i got 13 hours sleep last night; i needed every minute of it. i think the dark circles under my eyes are just about gone... well severely reduced anyway. but i'm at 10,000 and something small words and not even out of chapter one. i seriously have length problems. from the looks of things this novel is going to be even longer than the fall. and it's going to be even tougher to edit, because i have four paragraphs as an outline so my writing is very unstructured, i'm just adding in things as i feel like it.

yea.

i'm a little worried though. the last time i did 4,000 words was near the end of nano and i totally burned myself out. not going to happen this time. i just did it to catch up. the MGMT gig on monday threw everything out because i got no writing done. and i did nothing at all yesterday because i was totally exhausted all day. i went to bed at 9:30 last night, after almost falling asleep half on the floor and half on the couch in the sitting room. hmmm. i think i will try to go to bed early tonight too.

yea... MGMT kind of fell under the nano sweep of november. it was a really good gig. the crowd was lively (putting it nicely - they went totally insane to all the popular songs and i just had to let the crush keep me up because my balance wasn't up to keeping me steady in the rush). but it was excellent fun.

not much else new: work is the same. we put all our christmas stuff up over the week. i've come to the realization that between working in dod the last few chrsitmases and spending it in wellington in high summer (it was a manky rainy, drizzly day), christmas just dosn't mean that much to me any more. it's just another day.

k - lordkilljoy's home now. time to go.

02 November 2008

nanowrimo time

happy november everyone. it's nanowrimo month, woo! lordkilljoy is awesome. heh - writing with someone beside you is funny!
yea. this year i'm attempting the third instalment of my zan / kej / zachery trilogy. insanity, but i'll never write it if i don't do it as a nano novel.

it's very hard to write when /someone/ is warming their toes on you. right.

i have work in 25 minutes. but i have a bike now :) my bike to be precise. lordkilljoy brought it up from cork for me yesterday. i'm happy. i really like my bike. gosh i sound like some kind of 6 year old or something. yea. wrimo writing brings my quality control down to 0. woo for exceptionally bad writing.

we're going to MGMT tomorrow evening. that should be fun. i'm listening to them now one last time before the gig.

i have it in my head that i want some shokubutsu green tea shower gel. the only problem is that the closest place to get it is in malaysia. me and penelope_stone got some when we were there and it was lovely. so lovely that we took a picture of the bottle. but i don't have time to go rooting around on the internet for it.

i don't really have much other news. i played assassin's creed for halloween. so amazingly halloween themed activity! blah. i had fun playing though. it's a fun sort of game if you just want to run away from people a lot. i did kind of realize that taking guards down with a knife from a distance or assassinating them from behind really works well.

we made fried rice last night with bacon bits, chicken, sweetcorn and carrots. and eggs (i always forget the eggs). it was very yummy. yea.

i'll just go now.

27 October 2008

gaelcon weekend

heh, i quite like the new livejournal look for halloween - so zombie-tasatic.

just home from gaelcon (i have a feeling that this post is going to be slightly strained - my brain isn't really functioning. uh oh lordkilljoy dosen't have firefox inline dictionary installed, so prepare for careless spelling.)

ok - gaelcon. i'd not been since 2003. wow, that's 5 years. it hasn't really changed much, though - same venue, same layout, but none of that really mattered. the best part of the con was being able to stay in the hotel bar until 3 / 4 in the morning, talking and laughing and messing and then just skipping up 2 flights of stairs to bed. :) it was great.
got to play various card / board games, the most fun being the order of the stick today and no thanks yesterday. i also played hellboy rpg. while it was fun, it just didn't really feel like hellboy at all. we were human and there were no demons in the game. but well.

it's a total downer knowing that tomorrow morning all the inspiration and happy-fun energy will just be forgotten as the alarm goes off and i get up to go to work. there is nothing more depressing in life. i totally have to find a job that i really love; one that reflects everything that's good about life and that makes life worthwhile.
:sigh: my current jon is really not that bad. but really - i want a job that is like my years in college. where people are having a laugh and playing, but still being hightly creative and coming up with really good ideas. hmmm. the last time i was at gaelcon i was in 1st year of multimedia and right now i can totally see c120 so clearly in my head and us all being our usual crazy selves. ah well.

jonathan coulton on friday was good too. it was great being at a gig again. it's been ages.

nanowrimo starts on saturday. is this the first mention of it i'e made on my journal this year? how very shocking... (ahhh, lordkilljoy's v key is sticky and annoying.)

yea, i'm just going to go now. i think i'll go to bed in an hour or so. just sitting here, i feel so tired.

oh yea - i bought dice at the con. they look cool.

22 October 2008

dreams

my dreams have gotten totally crazy again. i thought it was just a spring thing, but no.
the night before last i dreamed of me and lordkilljoy trying to buy groceries, but everyone kept butting in on front of us, and then the girl ran off and our shopping was left sitting on the belt for hours.
then last night involved a group of rebels or some sort of resistance movement going up against a pirate / skeleton king and there was this wierd bit where there were demons or something and i had to free someone (possibly my aunt joan) from this dark room; but i was terrified to go in because she was possessed by the room. but i did get her out and the room looked like an old parlour from the 50s or something.

next week i will not see the sun rise, for it will all ready be up by the time i see it.

i can't wait for the weekend. lordkilljoy and i will be staying in clontarf castle. woo!! a whole 3 days of not having to stand up except to move from one place to another.

work's going well enough. i'm not really having a great week this week, simply because my hormones are acting up and making me feel rotten half the time. but i can't blame work, because i know that it wouldn't matter what i would do - i'd feel the same way.

to wrap up other things: been watching dr. who and lordkilljoy play lost odyssey and i've been playing prof. layton. we've been cooking lots and making some yummy pasta sauce mixes, with sort of random ingredients thrown in. jonathan coulton on friday - i hope my feet arn't killing me.

k - i'm going to go now.

17 October 2008

the trials of work

"Last updated one week ago."
I don't like not getting to update my livejournal every day. I feel like when i read back on it i'll be missing chunks of my life. hmm. Oh well.

My life has been rather one dimensional recently. Get up, go to work, come home, play something or watch something and go to bed.

I did get a new pair of pants and a pair of doc martens - cute shoes with a buckle and chunky toe-area. Here is a picture of my shoes. (Please note, i did not buy them on amazon. i imagine the price on shipping would have been awful.) They're comfy and I was so happy heading out to work the first day i wore them. (however, my feet still ache something awful every day. oh well. i'm looking forward to the day i get used to the pain.

I really need to get a bike, though. It takes 18 minutes to walk to work (14 if i go really fast) and i get an hour for lunch. So i charge home every lunchtime, breaking my feet so that i get half an hour at home. But if i had a bike i could be home in 5 minutes and take 50 minutes here for lunch. That would be great. Actually - i was thinking of looking on jumbletown to see if anyone's getting rid of an old bike around here. Because after January, i may be able to get a bike off work - the finance manager said he'd look into it if enough people were interested in cycling to work.

Not a whole lot else - i'm playing professor layton at the moment. It is such a fun game. Hmm - i should go over to gamespot and give it a rating - maybe 9.8 or maybe 9.4 because the answers to some of the puzzles seem quite random to me.

ok - i really don't think i have anything else to say.

10 October 2008

it's lashing outside and i have to walk to work. all i can say is - thank god i have a good water proof coat. and water proof trail shoes. but i'll be wearing jeans down and changing into my work pants and shoes when i get there. i hope i don't get too wet.

not a whole lot else going on at the moment. jaarius, lordraath and the_kannon are coming up this weekend. that should be fun - and possibly a bit crazy.

the only reason i'm really updating is to see the new last.fm music link thing, but i can't see it here. oh, wait. i have to put in my username on my profile first.
awh - it dosn't look like it's working. oh well.

09 October 2008

the morning news

i shall attempt to get all my news in in ten minutes. excuse any bad typos.

work has been going well. i had my training on tuesday and had to travel 3 hours by public transport yo get there, even though it would have taken 40 minutes by car. oh well. i think getting a car and getting my licence is moving up in my list of things to do.
the training was good - i learned how to approach customers in an open manner and it really works - even where you stand in the shop makes a difference. people are coming up to me asking for stuff, and buying stuff. it's cool. i still haven't managed to sell a laptop, but i've helped people make up their minds on what sort of thing they want.

i'm on my computer right now :) nothing like working on your own computer that you know every quirk and nuance of. and i get to listen to my itunes again. woo!

emmm... i don't actually think i have much else to say. i got to play my ds for the 6 hours of travelling i did on tuesday. i'm really liking drawn to life. i love drawing the things it tells you - because it's easy - you just follow thier giude and then go mental with shading, highlighting and adding in details. of course, all this is in little pixels, so you're not coming out with masterworks - but it's still fun.
i can't play the world ends with you anymore, because i can't get past the battle on day 2.

right - i have to go now, get ready for work.

06 October 2008

subject here

gosh, i just hate seeing "last updated 3 days ago" when i log into livejournal. three days is a lot of news to have to re-cap, especially when i went home for the weekend.

lordkilljoy and i drove down to cork on friday evening. i got to see penelope_stone for a few hours that evening - we had turkey dinner at home; it was delicious.

ok - this post isn't going to be the most coherent thing i've ever written. i'm just home from my first day of work - like 10 hours on my feet in 2 inch heeled boots, and trying to learn all the products in the shop and how things around the till work. i feel more tired than i have since the day we walked around bangkok for 13 hours straight with about 2 10 minute breaks. i don't think anything would ever make me as tired as that again, and i don't have the blisters to contend with. no - compared to that day, i'm just peachy. but i am tired and i think if i went to bed right now i'd be asleep in minutes.
but i'll go to bed after i post this - i have to be up at 5:30 or something. buh.

anyway - the weekend. saturday night was goldsoundz. it was so great. the liquid lounge is a nice enough venue - smallish, but the crowd was just the right size. they played excellent music. me and lordkilljoy and jaarius drank cocktails while we were there. they make some excellent ones. so delicious - definitely to be tried again.

sunday was taleweavers. it was great to see the lads again. we actually got loads done, nearly everyone had work to show; it was great.
but i had to leave early to get the bus back up to dublin, and home to an apartment on my own! heh - no, it was fine. i got in at 7:20 and raced across the city to catch the train out to maynooth at 7:30 and made it (it kinda helped that the train wasn't actually until 7:39).

i'm playing "the world ends with you" on the ds at the moment. it's interesting. kinda fun and the main character, neku, reminds me so much of cloud strife. actually the 2 of them shiki and neku remind me of tifa and cloud. it's a little annoying, but i'll get over it. the only other thing that bothers me is that combat is impossible.
i also tried drawn to life for a bit - i love the drawing parts. the actual game play is kind of platformer standard, nothing really intriguing. but it was fun. except that i was playing on the bus and trying to draw was somewhat difficult. but i think i managed quite well. when i saw my cloud in the game, i was like "woah - that's kinda good looking" but i love drawing clouds.
and i also tried my hand at puzzle quest, but am woefully bad at it. it's kind of a visual recognition game where you have to get 3 colours in a row, but i just go for the first one i see and think little of strategy. you get "training" - basic and advanced. i passed the basic, because you play by yourself, but the advanced i had to try 4 times because the game kept killing me. oh well!

emmm, so yea. i had work today, i woke up to the sound of cars and was like "where am i? why can i hear cars going by outside? this isn't right." eventually i woke up enough to remember that i wasn't in cork. it was very odd.

and if i haven't mentioned: work is fine. nothing too stressful - just helping people find things in the shop mainly. except that i don't know where anything is yet. but that'll come with time.
i'm so tired though. i really have to get to bed. i think i'm going to crash out tomorrow night the second i get home.

03 October 2008

job update

i start on monday. i'm excited and nervous all at the same time. i think it will be great and i think it will be awful. i really pity me trying to sleep on sunday night. that could be an act of futility.

so, maybe expect entries so become less frequent, or to become more whiny, or both; hopefully not both.

umm, yea. that's all i wanted to say.

on the bonsai and strange dreams

i was so sure i'd made a post yesterday about our bonsai... wierd. our bonsai kinda wilted a bit yesterday (or well, i noticed it yesterday) - it was just getting to looking a little pathetic and sorry-for-itself. so i went online and looked up sites to figure out what could be wrong. as it turns out, bonsais need loads and loads of water - like a bit every day and a bath once a week. when we got it the guy gave us the impression that you didn't need to water them that much. he never specifically said that, but he mentioned "just" and "spray bottle" so what were we supposed to think? so yesterday i watered it twice and then, in the evening, i dunked it in a tub of water and let it soak for a few minutes. i also left in on the kitchen window, where the sun gets in in the mornings. so this morning, when i checked it, it was looking way better :) woo. i can have plants not die on me. this is a first!

now to the second part of my post: my dream last night was strange. but not in the sense of content. as far as the "story" went, it was no stranger than most dreams i have: me and penelope_stone, trapped in a palace that had just been sacked by orcs. but they had killed everyone with some kind of magic / technology that had left the palace in perfect condition. the orcs still surrounded the place, though, and we were trying to stay really quiet and not move so that they wouldn't know we had survived. but then penelope_stone banged her head against the door and they heard and came rushing in. they chased us through massive corridors but we lost them and met up with a group of survivors in a huge atrium-like area. and some of them had cute pokémon-like creatures. (i wonder where that came from?!)
anyway.
all that was fine. the really strange thing about the dream was the quality of it. it was like dreaming in HD or having a 3d thing perfectly modelled and textured and rendered at the highest quality possible. everything looked amazing.
there are dreams you can have that feel real - like real life. well this wasn't like that at all. it was like a normal dream, except that all the imagery was crystal clear and frighteningly beautiful - like when you see something that is so perfect, your heart and mind kind of close up because you can't accept that something so amazing can actually exist in this world (i'm not sure if anyone else has ever actually had this feeling - like a burst of emotion so intense that it frightens you).
anyway - in my dream, everything was ultra-real. the pattern of the grain on the wood of the door, the way the light came through the windows and contrasted with the shadows on the ground and walls. even just the quality of the light; it was so bright coming through the domes and sky-lights on the ceiling and setting everything it landed on blazing with brightness...
i know what it was like - it was like dreaming in HDR, that very specific sort of light and shade that only HDR can give you. (kind of a bit like this hdr.)

yea. describing the quality of dreams is kinda hard.

so not much else. i'm heading to cork for the weekend.

02 October 2008

i got offered a job :)

got a call back from the agency that's dealing with the job. the guy wants to offer me the position. they are doing a reference check right now. i gave them joe from dod's number. that may have been a mistake. joe does not like taking calls from people. ah well. agency guy can call me back and i can give him mehboob's number instead.

so yea. it's cool. the guy was impressed by my knowledge and expertise of computers. hee, being a geek totally pays off when trying to get a computers-based job. i just hope it's not too stressful. he mentioned targets and performance ratings. these are two words that frighten me because i'm so competitive. i force myself to beat all expectations of me and i hate losing, but we'll see how i can balance apathy because it's a job and natural competitiveness. i'm sure it will be fine...

the way i am

i had another interview today. i found out about it less than 24 hours before i had it; which is fine, but which is why i didn't mention about it here. it's for a sales position in a computer shop. sounds like fun sort of work, but i really don't have much (or really any) retail experience. and i think i answered very laterally in my interview. i can't help it - i think laterally most of the time (which i say is the reason why i appear to have no common sence and am so ditzy). but anyway. i always get really nervous before interviews and, every time, i go looking up stuff on the internet to try to understand why this happens to me so badly. because my head is totally calm, yet my adrenaline glands are freaking out. i have yet to find a "cure" for this diversion between mind and body.
but anyway (again). i was just reading on a site for kids (things for kids are the best, because they don't overlook things that adults take for granted) and i think i absolutely can't deny to myself any more that i am a perfectionist. i know it, i just try to ignore the fact, because being a perfectionist is so hard. but still, if i was given a choice, i couldn't be anything less. i just wouldn't be happy if i didn't strive for perfection. but i guess if i wasn't a perfectionist i couldn't really care. yea...

anyway. getting off the point of me for a bit, how is everyone on my f-list? any personality revelations you'd like to share?

01 October 2008

my untitled swashbuckler

it got a bit long. with 4 days to go i came up with an idea. with 1 day to go i had only 500 words written. i wrote over 2000 words yesterday, so forgive the sloppiness of the second half.


Feld spent the evening studying, as he did every evening, but today something seemed out of place. He looked around his room, at the books and ink-pots littering his desk, the dirty robes scattered on the floor, his leather jerkin hung with care on the back of the door; everything here was in order. Yet something amiss nagged at him and it interrupted his study.

He let his quill rest in the ink-pot as he concentrated on his perceptions. No strange smells coming into the room on drafts under the door or through the cracks in the window frame. No sounds filtered in from outside or upstairs. Now that was odd.

Mr. Lynchmurr lived in the room above Feld's and always held night tutoring up there. His deep voice rumbled through the wood and stone of the ceiling, keeping Feld company throughout the evening, every night without exception. What could possibly be wrong today? Mr. Lynchmurr's silence required investigating.

Pushing his book away from him, Feld stood and grabbed his cloak off the floor. He strapped on his sword and left the room, not bothering to dowse the candles; he guessed he'd be back shortly. The empty corridors echoed the tap of his boots against stone as he made his way upstairs.

A door of solid wood guarded Mr. Lynchmurr's privacy. Feld leaned into it, ear pressed against the smooth surface. He heard nothing from within. Peeking through the keyhole revealed that the key was still in the lock. Mr. Lynchmurr was inside. Obviously not holding tutorials today. Strange, but Feld accepted it with nothing more than a mild disappointment at having to return to study so soon.

Feld shrugged and turned to head back to his room when the sound of something heavy thumping to the ground stalled him. He leaned into the door. Shuffling and low grunts. He listened a while longer, hoping someone would speak. After a few long moments of nervously checking up and down the corridor, Feld's eavesdropping paid off.

He heard only low murmurs at first, but then a woman spoke out in frustration.

"You hired me to help you. I am not a politician. I get things done. What did you expect would be involved? We cannot do this with the king still on the throne."

Feld gasped and stumbled away from the door. What was Mr. Lynchmurr involved in? Could he have fallen for the lure of conspiracy and change? Feld hoped not. While the old man's ways were loud and blunt, he was still a teacher at the Academy. He had sworn oaths to the Sovereign and the State.

This illicit roundevouz must be stopped. The sound of steel slipping along leather echoed softly down the corridor as Feld drew his sword. Moving in front of the door, he aimed a kick, but before he lifted his leg, something sharp pricked against his back, poised to slip into his kidneys.

Sword leading the way, Feld turned to face the a man with jet back hair and a large moustache. His brash move took his assailant by surprise and the large man backed up a few steps, giving Feld the chance to press the attack. He lunged forward, aiming for black-hair's shoulder. Better to disable his opponent than aim for a killing blow. Feld had never seen this man before, and even though he seemed up to no good, Feld believed killing without good reason made him no better than the conspirators he stood against.

Black-hair dodged the blow, sidestepping while parrying Feld's blow. His side sword came back on the follow-through to slash at Feld's rapier. This man was fast! Feld did not have a chance to pull out of his lunge before Black-hair's sword came back at him. With no other choice, he continued downward flinging out a hand to balance himself as he rolled to safety.

Heart pounding, he leaped to his feet, just in time to parry the next blow. He stepped back, but his opponent pressed on. Adrenaline fuelled Feld's muscles, but he knew it would not be enough. The clash of sword on sword rang out up and down the corridor as they fought, Feld just about holding off the stronger man's attacks and certainly not finding a chance to press his own offensive.

Doors along the hall opened and faces popped out.

"Conspiracy," Feld shouted.

The distraction cost him. Black-hair's sword pierced through Feld's side sending a wave of pain through his abdomen. The large man smiled and let up his attack. He leered at the faces peeking out around their doors and with one curt noise sent the on-lookers scuttling back to their rooms.

"No one will help you, little boy. It's just you and me," Black-hair said. He took one step forward, looming over Feld with murder in his eyes. "You made the wrong choice to poke your dirty nose into Lynchmurr's business."

"Randall!" a woman called out from up the corridor.

Without taking his eyes off Feld, Black-hair answered her with a grunt.

"Do not kill the boy," she said. "He may be of some use to us if our plans run awry."

Randall grunted again. "Seems you get off light this time," he said to Feld.

The world was already turning black for Feld by the time Randall's fist came down on his head, but the clout helped speed things along.

* * *

Feld woke, some unknown amount of time later, to the smell of old cloth sacking and earthy vegetables. He opened his eyes to darkness and looked around for any spark of light. The movement sent waves of pain through his head, and rippling nauseatingly through his body. Perhaps sleep would be the best. Before he had even finished the thought, sopor claimed him.

When he woke again, dim light filtered down from a grate high up in the wall. He could hear shouts, merry chatter and the smell of fresh food coming through on the trickle of fresh air. Market; he must be in a cellar right on the market. But which one? Almost every open square in the city held a market at this time of year.

But what was he doing down here? He made a move to stand, but stabbing pain in his side pulled him back down. The wound felt bad. Lifting his shirt, he saw that it had been properly dressed and bound, but a small dark patch marred the bandage. His captors showed mercy; he would remember this when he brought their case before the king.

The day passed slowly for him, marked by the rising and falling volume of noise from the market. As the small light from the grate started to fade, Feld's isolation ended. The door burst open, to admit high pitched screams and grunts of pain. A pretty girl bound and held by Randall accompanied the screams.

"Let me go, you cretin," she shouted.

"As you wish, lady," Randall said, with an ugly smile on his face. He tossed her into the room and she landed on hands and knees beside Feld.

She roared some very unbecoming words at Randall, but they washed over him like water over a rock. With a slam and a click he closed the door and locked it. Without even a look for Feld she set about looking for a way out of the room. This phased Feld, but he wasn't about to let her abruptness get the better of his manners.

"My lady, are you hurt? Can I help" he asked.

"Do I look hurt, yokel? I am just fine, and I need no help. I am perfectly capable of helping myself."

She drew a tiny dagger from her corset and deftly used it to cut the ropes binding her arms. Feld watched in amazement as she proceeded to use the narrow knife to pick the lock on the door. A few moments later she stood in the open doorway, soft hair and shapely body framed against the light from the hall.

"Are you just going to sit there?" she said. "Or would your lack of manners allow a lady to walk the evening streets unaccompanied?"

"No. No, I'm coming," he said as he jumped up off the ground and scurried over to her.

"Here," she handed him the little dagger.

He cut the rope that had bound him, left it on the ground in the corner of the cellar and followed his saviour out to street level.

"We must get to the king. He needs to be warned."

"After you, my lady," Feld said. Here at last was something he understood perfectly. This lady was abrupt, a little rude perhaps, but if she could bring this conspiracy to light before the king he would accompany her to Hell and back.

They rounded the corner out onto the market and almost walked straight into Randall.

"Going somewhere?" the large man said.

"Not any more," Feld's mysterious lady-friend said. She drew an ornately hilted rapier and held it expertly in the en garde position. "Boy, find another way. I'll hold off this brute."

While Feld generally would never leave a lady to the mercy of a brute such as Randall, she seemed more than capable of handling herself.

The streets faded into a blur of buildings, people and pounding steps. Feld ran at the fastest pace he could sustain, heading uphill towards the palace. The crowd stumbled out of his way, hurling shouts and insults after him. Words alone did not have the power to slow him and he reached the palace just as the sun sank behind its high walls and towers.

Out of breath and heart pounding from the exertion, he approached the guards at the gate.

"I bring dire warning for the king," he said.

"You and the rest of the ragged scum in this city. Clear off beggar."

Feld couldn't move. The guard not believing him was the last scenario he would have expected when bringing news of a conspiracy to the king.

"Are you deaf or what? Clear off," the guard said.

Feld took a few steps backwards, without turning. He had to get in to see the king. This wasn't one of the Academy tests; he couldn't fail at this. In an act of desperation he drew his sword.

"I must see the king. His life is at risk."

"From you, maybe. Boy, you are not getting into the palace." To emphasize his point, the guard drew his sword. He stood en garde, but did not attack.

Whether from blood loss or the excitement of everything that had happened in the last day, Feld's good sense had deserted him. He lunged at the guard, who parried easily. He refrained from a riposte, possibly from some sense of pity for Feld.

Feld attacked again, this time the guard was not as lenient. His riposte flashed through Feld's weak defence, headed straight for his heart. Feld watched in horror as the deadly point made to run him through. At the last possible instant another sword came from the side and parried the guard's blow.

"Thanks, Drelius. But we want this boy alive."

"My lady. Forgive me. I was not aware."

Feld turned to look at the lady who had just saved him. It was his strange benefactor from the cellar. Now he owed her his life. His relationship with this woman was not off to a good start.

"Come along, boy."

"My name is Feld."

"Well good for you."

She lead him into the palace grounds, through gardens lush with the life of late summer, and into the cold granite halls of the keep. They strode at a fast pace through the corridors, heading up flights of stairs and burrowing ever deeper into the keep.

They came out at an unadorned wooden door. The only signs of its importance were the thick iron bands reinforcing the width and the iron bars protecting the locks and hinges. The lady knocked on the door and waited for a reply. They did not wait long. Almost immediately they were admitted and Feld found himself walking through a small room towards a large desk, at which sat the king.

"What's all this faff about a conspiracy?" he asked.

"It's true this time, sire," the mysterious lady said. "The boy will tell you all about it."

She pushed Feld in front of her. He stood before the king and all the words he had ever learned dove headlong from his brain.

"You... Your Majesty," he said, then stopped, at a total loss.

"The conspiracy, boy?"

Why must everyone call him boy? His focus snapped back into place and he began to speak.

"I am Feld of Waterhaven, fifth year student of the Academy. The night before last, I happened upon a group of people conspiring against you, Your Majesty." He related the tale embellishing only the fights. He didn't think his prowess would impress the lady, but there was no harm in trying.

"And I have your side of things," the king said to the lady. "Very well. Bring them in. Feld could you stay with me a moment?"

The lady left and Feld took a seat that one of the king's guards pulled up for him.

"An Academy teacher conspiring against the crown is a frightening thought, wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes, Your Majesty."

"Have you noticed any other strange occurrences at the Academy?" the king said.

Feld related some other things he had noticed.

The king nodded. "Very well. I will call on you again if I need you."

A guard escorted Feld to the gate. He knew he should return to the Academy, but it was not every day something this exciting happened. He dragged his feet down the hill, towards the Academy.

About half way there a large gathering of people hampered his already slow progress. He stopped to see what was going on. Royal guards stood around a house and the sounds of fighting came from inside. As he watched the fight broke out onto the street.

The mysterious lady fought another woman. Feld watched, fascinated, as their swords flashed almost faster than his eyes could perceive. Here were two masters, neither able to get an advantage over the other. A glint of lamplight caught Feld's eye and he looked over to see a man in the crowd draw a dagger. The man edged around the crowd, positioning himself behind Feld's lady.

Feld gasped. Surely, this man wouldn't dare throw that dagger? He put too many people at risk. But even as Feld doubted him, the man raised his arm to throw.

This would not happen. Feld would not allow such a despicable trick go unchallenged. He drew his sword and ran towards the man. But too late. The man had already released. With a swift downward stroke, Feld whacked the dagger from the air. He let his momentum push him on and brought his sword around to strike the man.

Steel pierced flesh and the man cried out. A second later Feld heard a woman cry out in pain. He turned to see his lady smiling at him as she stood over the prone from of the woman she had been fighting. He smiled back.

"Well done, Feld," she said. "Now help me tie these two up. And later, remind me to recommend you to the king's watch."

Feld had never heard of the king's watch, but he wasn't about to argue. This felt like the start of something interesting and it was about time for a little excitement in his life.

The End


hope you enjoyed. feel free to leave a comment, even just saying: "liked it" or "didn't like it." thanks

30 September 2008

swashing with a buckler

The fridge is a fireworks display of words. Of fridge magnet poetry, to be precise.

I really havn't much to say, though. With one day to go i found inspiration for my swashbuckler (this month's genrechallenge). so i'm kinda stressing to get it written before tonight. i think it's going to be a slightly long one. i've reached the middle and i'm wishy-washing with the plot. i think i've added in too much unnecessary scenery, but we'll see how it goes. i'm over the word count already, though, so i'm happy.

The only other big thing is pokemon. I'm still obsessed. I play it at breakfast (it makes breakfast last about an hour) and at lunch (if i get a chance) and all evening after lordkilljoy comes home. but that's ok. he's playing too, and he's way better at it than me.

yea, so i'll go get back to writing now.

27 September 2008

More Japanese

My other Japanese book arrived yesterday. "First 1000 Words in Japanese." i got to page 13 last night. It takes a considerable amount of concentration to read. But i like it. It's amusing; the illustrations are fun to look at. I'm such a child! Ah well.

lordkilljoy got me playing pokèmon diamond version. And while battles seemed a bit tedious the first few times, it's actually incredibly addictive. Was playing some more Rival Swords too. There are actually some changes from Two Thrones, which is fun. It means that every so often i actually have to think about what i'm doing.

Yea. Not much else to say. I must get food. My stomach is making rumbly noises, even though no one can hear it over the sounds of diggnation.

26 September 2008

Rival Swords

I got up this morning at ten to eight, had a quick shower and got dressed and had breakfast. But as i was pouring my cereal into my bowl, i remembered that i had watched the intro cut-scene of Prince of Persia: Rival Swords on lordkilljoy's PSP last night. So i wandered into the sitting room, picked it up and played it as i ate breakfast. I continued playing after i'd finished breakfast. It's almost identical to Two Thrones, except that the sound-effects aren't nearly as good (they are quite bad, actually - no flow to them - like footsteps and weapon noises are just one sound repeated over and over) and it took me a while to get used to the controls.
But i seriously love this game, in any form. It's got to be my favourite game. I got to the first major cut-scene and i was like: yea, this game has such a great story. And then i stopped playing, because the day was moving on, and has moved on. i can't believe it's almost 11. hmmm.

lordkilljoy, lainey316, goblin_insane, claudia and i went to see pineapple express last night. It was so funny. lordkilljoy had described it as a stoner action movie and that's kind of exactly what it was. I've not laughed so much in ages...

mmm, i can't think of anything else to say. I really like this song. I heard it first back when i was working in CIT over the summmer. I heard it twice and had it stuck in my head for weeks.

(what a funny list of tags i have for this post... it's so... something)

25 September 2008

the days of unemployment

it's foggy this morning. i opened the curtains and was like: woah, everything is white. and then i realized it was fog and felt a little tingle of happiness run from my stomach out to my skin. i love fog. it's so mysterious and mystical.

awh, gosh. i started this entry this morning and then forgot about it (it's 12:02 now). i'm tailoring my cv at the moment. most dull of dull jobs. but i need to get a job, so there's nothing else for it. i want to say i hate my life, but i totally don't. i love my life, it just gets trying at times when i can't figure out why things arn't just working out. things have always just worked out for me. i have this innate luck or something, but i think my innate luck abandoned me just before i went travelling and hasn't deigned to return yet. please luck, come back. i miss you.

anyway. since no one at all in the whole world wants to hire me, i think i'm going to have to resort to shop work. i really didn't want to have to do this, because it's like the most soul destroying work on the planet.

i had thought of doing a tefl (teach english as a foreign language) course, but i'm so full of doubt. what if that dosn't work out for me either and i spend all this money on a course and still can't get work. it's a horrible feeling, actually. i never take risks.

today is probably not a good day for me to start ranting about stuff - i feel a decidedly misanthropic. and i'm hungry. i need to get something for lunch.

ugh, i'm such an idiot. i just closed down firefox. thank god livejournal saves drafts of entries.

ok, i could leave this post open all day (it's almost 1 now) and just keep adding to it, but i don't think i'm going to get to a resolution either way. so i'll just go now.

oh - i have some good news. i got my hair cut yesterday (or actually was it the day before). i think it's quite nice - nothing fancy, but it's all the same length now except for my fringe. :)

22 September 2008

plants and pots

lordkilljoy and i went shopping for plants today :) that was fun. i'd kinda said having a fern could be fun - i sorta meant it, much the way i sorta mean a lot of things... anyway (lordkilljoy tells me i should use capitals - i tell him i'm lazy). he took me up on it and we went out to a large garden centre in celbridge, where we bought a middle-sized bamboo, an indoor bonzai, some herbs and some pots to put them in. i'm happy. we have plants to look after. i hope they survive. i have never managed to keep plants alive before - my room was always too dark. the apartment faces north, so gets no direct sunlight, but i hope it gets enough for the plants' needs.

not much else. we watched deathnote 9the live action). i really enjoyed it. but it just ended. i want to see how everything gets resolved between light and L. it's interesting. it had a really good character dynamic going on. the only thing that annoyed me were the dodgy graphics for ryuk. but i got used to it after a bit.

i must go for a walk around the village tomorrow. see what there is to see, hopefully find someplace that does hair cuts that arn't depressingly expensive. yea...

dewa mata!! (ooh, japanese books havn't arrived yet. i can't wait 'til they do)

20 September 2008

packing and moving

i put my packing list to use this evening when i packed my rucksack. it weighs 3 stone (20kgs) and i can just about lift it. heh, good luck to me on monday when i have to carry it. i'd love to head up tomorrow evening (after d+d - get the bus at 7) but that would mean not getting into dublin until around 11, and i doubt lordkilljoy will still be awake at that stage. nah - i'll wait and get the bus monday morning instead. if i get the bus at 9, i can be there for lunchtime and we'll still have a bit of the day to hang out.
i had considered leaving it 'til friday, so that i wouldn't spend my first few days just being alone in his house for most of the day. but i just know that if i leave it that long, all the stories from his trip will be old news and it won't be nearly as much fun going through everything he bought. and i have japanese books being delivered that i want to get up there for. so yea. i'll go on monday :)

i went into town with penelope_stone today. she bought loads, i just got a present for davidnarby (it was his birthday a while back). but we had fun tramping all over the city looking at outdoor gear.

so that's about it. i feel like i've forgotten to pack a million things. i had to put quite a few clothes back, because they wouldn't all fit in my bag. i have so many tops that i love and i wanted to bring them all. i have a good reason for this too: when we went to new zealand, i missed all my clothes - because i'd only been able to bring a small handful of them. so this time, i'm just bringing everything i like, and just leaving behind anything i never really wore anyway, which isn't much - i don't tend to buy clothes if i don't think i'm going to wear them.

right so, i'm off to bed then :)

19 September 2008

today revolved around translating japanese

lots more japanese today. i got three comments all in hiragana and i spent 3 hours figuring out what they said. but it's all good. i learned that にっか (nikka) means daily diary / an entry on lang-8. and that there is a very complicated way to thank someone for helping you: くれてありがとうございました. and i remembered that だいがく (daigaku) is university. woo! but as i get into the basics, i begin to see how hard this is going to get. there are so many tenses and so many phrases that mean a specific thing. ah well.

i was going to say something else... oh - yea. xkcd...
it seems to be the season for industrial instruments for sticking things together. i got a riveter this week and xkcd posted about a staple gun. i thought that was a funny coincidence.

i made a packing list this morning. i'm really excited about going, but at the same time i'm going to miss my room so much. i have a feeling that no where in my future will my bedroom have navy walls. i love my navy walls. and for all the lack of space, i love the close cosiness of my room and the way i can pretty much reach anything from my computer, and the way i'm right beside the window and all the little things that fill up and open space, like bits of paper and material and stones and figures and pens and pencils and art stuffs and metal bits.
the only thing i won't miss is my wardrobe. i can't wait to never have to try wrestle clothes out of it again.

yea - i just got distracted with another japanese comment and totally lost my thoughts for updating. ah well.

Recipes

I have a few recipes that i scribbled onto post-its and stuck on the fridge. For the longest time i've been meaning to write them down properly somewhere. And since i won't be at home that much anymore, i figured now was a good time to do it.



Liquid to put on Sushi Rice
3-4 tablespoons rice vinegar
2-3 teaspoons sugar
2 (spare) teaspoons salt (the salt will take over if you put in too much)

Water : Rice
sushi rice: 1:1
basmati rice: 1.5:1
long grain rice: 2:1

To Make Yummy Pancakes
(you need a graduated cylinder - one from a science lab will do if you don't have any normal cooking implements)
put in flour to 200 (mls)
then 2 eggs (probably medium - it's not an exact science)
then milk to 500
mix and cook - don't burn.
To cook in a small frying pan, put in a bit (small) of oil. Heat at 3 (on halogen a hob). When oil is moveable pour in mix - it should not cook immediately. Leave 'til all mix has dried up and flip over.

Tuna Sweetcorn
one can of tuna with sunflower oil
one (smallish) can of sweetcorn
mix the two
cook some pasta
when pasta is cooked throw in the tuna and sweetcorn and mix it until it is warm
(if you are cooking for one, you may just want to use half the mix, and keep the rest for later)

Almond Chicken (not mine - comes from the back of Yeo Valley yoghurt)
ingredients:
150g pot yeo valley organic natural yoghurt
(skip) 1 medium onion
(skip) 1 clove of garlic
1 teaspoon curry powder
1 tablespoon olive oil (don't use olive oil - it tastes rotten, use soya oil or something instead)
2 tablespoons ground almonds
2 organic chicken breasts (it doesn't really matter if they aren't organic)
150g basmati rice
2 teaspoons fresh coriander

heat oil in a frying pan (definitely don't use olive oil in this case - when i gets hot it releases toxins). (onion and garlic go here) add curry powder. cook on medium for 5 minutes. chop the chicken into 2cm thick strips and add to the pan (if you are me, you may want to do this bit at the start. it takes me about 15 minutes to cut chicken, which in this case, would lead to very burnt oil and curry powder). Brown for 5-6 minutes. Turn the heat down low and add the almonds, stirring gently. Take the pan off the heat and stir in the yoghurt. As this is cooking boil the rice until fluffy (this should take about 13 minutes if you have a rice cooker. if you don't you should get one, you will be amazed at the amazing job it does to rice. it's amazing.) Serve the chicken with the rice and garnish with fresh coriander (if you are just going to set the coriander aside, you may want to consider not buying it in the first place).

Chicken Tikka (i never managed to get this recipe right; it always came out too lemony or something)
6x180g chicken fillets
140ml natural yoghurt (i find using sweetened yoghurt lifts the flavour a lot)
1 teaspoon fresh grated ginger
1 teaspoon ground coriander
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 chilli powder (i presume this means powder of 1 chilli? i figure you can just add whatever amount of chilli you like)
(skip) 1 clove of garlic
1 lemon, for juice (you actually only need a tiny bit - i would even say leave it out, but if you like sour food, then you may want to use a lot)
(skip) 80g finely chopped onion
60g tomato purée
80ml oil (does anyone actually measure out oil? i just fire in as much as i feel looks good on the bottom of the pan)
salt and pepper (what a cop out. if you get your spices right, you shouldn't need these)
6 lemon wedges for garnish

Cut the chicken into strips. Put them into a bowl. Mix together the yoghurt, seasoning, spices, (garlic), lemon juice and the tomato purée (it's mad that firefox automatically fixes this with the fada-thing). Pour this mixture over the chicken and mix it in very well. Cover with cling film and leave to marinate for at least four hours (i'm bad. i never marinate things).
Take a grilling tray and lightly coat it with a little oil, sprinkle with the chopped onion. Lay the chicken strips on the chopped onions. Place the chicken under a hot grill and gently let them cook. Turn them every few minutes to make sure that they are fully cooked. You can also cook them in a hot oven at 180C for about 20 minutes.
Serve with rice flavoured with turmeric (i never knew there was two Rs in this word), or with a salad of iceberg lettuce and yoghurt dressing.

woah - i cut the cooking instructions off a pizza box one day! wierd.

Macaroni Cheese (awh. i can't eat this anymore.)
water
pasta (if you eat as much pasta as i used, you just know how much pasta goes in)
2 tablespoons butter (half melt, then add)
200g cheese
1/4 cup milk (stir in)
pepper / herbs
serves 3-4

Pesto (i also can't eat this anymore)
1 cup parsley (i never used parsley)
1 cup basil
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon olive oil (i used soya oil)
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons boiling water
3/4 cup parmesan cheese
i think this serves 2-3... i don't remember ever adding in this much of everything

If you want the not-so-haphazard recipe for pancakes:
100g flower
2 eggs
300ml milk
i think it came out too runny, which is why i use more flower and less milk

Butterscotch Sauce (i made this once and it burned horribly - good luck if you decide to try it)
equal spoonfuls
butter
golder syrup
brown sugar
melt slowly
boil for 7 minutes (be really, really careful)

Pizza Tomato Sauce
Put
1/2 cup canned tomatoes (why does the plural get an E?)
1 teaspoon tomato paste
herbs (schwartz pizza seasoning, basil and herb pepper
into a small saucepan. Bring to the boil and reduce to thicken (aka simmer until all the liquid has evaporated)

Cornbread
1 cup flour
6 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup butter (some recipes call for oil, but it makes the bread really crumbly, which i don't really like)
1+1/2 cups buttermilk
3 eggs
9x9 pan, oiled
oven - 200C 30 mins
mix dry (and butter)
mix wet
"just" mix both (i wish i wrote clearer instructions to myself)

right. that is all my recipes. i remember making minestrone a few times - that must have been from a book. and french toast - bread fried with demerara sugar and possibly something else: it was interesting. and there was this kind of french egg soup one time, which was from a book. yea. i may have to bring the soups and sauces book with me.

18 September 2008

japanese

i got loads done today. i drew my map in illustrator, and wrote a bit more on the geography of my world. that lasted from about 11 until about 3, when i got really tired. so i stopped, because i would just be wasting time and not getting a whole lot done.

so i went to lang-8 and helped some people with their english. then, for some crazy reason, i got the idea to do a post in japanese. (if you want to know the reason: it was because i replied to a message from a person and included one of the few phrases i know by heart - このコンピュータ は私のです。 "this computer is mine."). so yea. i managed to write 8 lines of japanese (in hiragana). it took me an hour and a half. but i got two replies and i wasn't too badly wrong - mainly trouble with verb endings. i'm so happy. if you are interested, you can read my entry.

i wish my cd drive wasn't broken. i'd totally congratulate myself by playing oblivion. oh well.

17 September 2008

learning japanese

i just ordered 3 japanese books. does this seem a little over-zealous? i just happened to be on amazon and just happened to come across the languages section and couldn't resist looking up japanese books. and they had 1,000 first words in japanese. i had to have it. and learning hiragana. and the complete japanese course by living languages.

and now i have to stop spending money until i get a job. i think i'm making up for lordkilljoy not being around by buying things. or maybe his massive spending spree in america is brushing off on me. anyway, the books weren't expensive - averaged at just under €10 each; which is the price of a novel and a good price for books of learning.

yea. i havn't really done much today. i looked up editing programs for liz (who i'm doing the multimedia thing for). apart from that, i got trapped on youtube looking up japanese videos. found some good ones - and a link to a cool site, called Lang-8. it's a cool idea where you make a post in the language you'd like to learn and native speakers correct your mistakes. isn't that the best idea ever?

i made chicken curry for dinner (using a gourmet asian cuisine paste - they make the best pastes ever). it turned out good, but the milk went a bit wierd (like lumpy). i think i may have had the temperature too high. everyone liked it. i went down for seconds a while ago and it was all gone. i made enough for 4 people (there were 3 of us). ah well. i'll know that it's good for again. lordkilljoy and i can make it sometime. and we will remember to add in potatoes.

oh, yea. as well today, i put cardboard on my shelves (they are made of metal wire and things fall through the gaps). hmm, that was a kind of random fact. actually, i did that and then forgot to put everything back on the shelves. i should do that, since everything is on my bed... and i'll be heading to bed soon.

hand riviter

i just bought a hand riveter. call me peculiar, but it's something i've always wanted. now i just have to find something to rivet together. i'm thinking a large amount of paper, or some cloth or something.

i had my interview-thing. it was ok. my brain just shut-down and rebooted once. yeay.

the sun is shining today. not having been exposed to sunlight in about a month, i've gone a little crazy because of it.

lordkilljoy has been in my dreams for the last week, ever since he went to america. last night we were watching 80s fantasy movies on his psp, but fed through to the tv. it was a little wierd.

i havn't much else to say. i've read up to ch9 of the fall. ch 7 needs to be entirely scrapped and re-written as well. that's ok, though. chapter 8 is fun. my chapters are so long, though. like crazy long. but i think books with 30 or 40 chapters are just silly. 16 is a good number.

16 September 2008

autumn changes

i just unsewed a top. and i just made up a word. woo!
i had this lovely top i got in KL, that was a black vest-type thing over a white shirt (or shirt pieces that were sewn into the top. but the first time i washed it, even though i was so careful, the die from the black ran into the white and gave it a kind of greenish tint. but it didn't do it very evenly and the top has been slightly unwearable since then. but last week i got a white shirt, and today i got around to unsewing* the shirt bits off the vest part :)
*unsewing; different from (is this the right preposition?) just ripping the stitches out and leaving bits of thread everywhere and risking ripping delicate wool.

so yea. that was very painstaking and took about 2 hours. my left arm cramped up half way through and the last bits were frustrating, because i just wanted to be done with it. but it's all good now, and i'm happy.

interview thing tomorrow. i'm not so sure if i want this job. it would be cool if it was closer. it's in sandyford, which is clear across the city. that's like a two hour commute on public transport or something... the idea of that just does not inspire me, and while people may say that i could use the time to write - i've tried and all the moving scenery out the window and shuffling people is way too distracting. but i guess we'll see.

i don't really have much other news. i drew a map today. that was fun. now i just have to come up with some city names (i have 2 of 11). city names are kinda hard. well, names in general are hard.
but just as i was saving the map my computer kind of had a spas attack. i had time to grab my camera and take a photo of my work before everything went into not responding mode and i had to restart the computer. i was so happy not to have lost the whole morning's work.

did i mention that i now have one and a half free shelves in my room? well i do. i'm trying to figure out the best stuff to populate them with.

heh - just making up a title for the post and i remembered a cool quote from Traitor's Moon (by lynn flewelling aka otterdance). it went something like: life changes and life changes you. it was so cool - the difference that one word can make.

ooh - i forgot to say: i printed out the fall yesterday. i have come to the conclusion that chapters 1 and 2 need to be utterly scrapped and re-written. i'm up to ch. 5 and it's not going too badly. the problem with writing for the nanowrimo is that i went way overboard on the exposition because i just wanted to fill up my word count. so there is lots that needs to be pulled out and written in a more dynamic way.

15 September 2008

2 days of news

penelope_stone left us yesterday for the naturalistic charms of murky kerry. i've had years to get used to the idea that she would eventually leave home, so the lack of her being around hasn't affected me too badly.

i pulled out old boxes of college notes last night for dumping. what with that and me being too lazy to put my clothes away into my various wardrobe-apparatus things, my room is a total mess; the kind of mess where i can either sit at my computer or lie on my bed, and everything else is out of bounds behind the piles of stuff that are on the floor. ok - i exaggerate a little, but not nearly as much as you might think.

i enjoyed the mind body spirit festival (aka the health fair). i spent all day saturday going to talks and workshops on topics from radiation to remote viewing. it was fun - i learned how to dowse with a pendulum (i don't think dowsing is my thing - i wasn't very good at it) and did a 10 second psychic reading for a random woman. madness. but it's the health fair so i'm allowed to dabble in wierd things.

while there i met a woman who wants me to work for her on a multimedia project she wants to do. it seems like a bit of fun - kind of video work, but working with still images and motion effects.

i started on my swashbuckler over the weekend. it's very formulaic, but should be some fun. i think the main problem when i'm writing for genrechallenge is that i don't really care for my characters. not like i care for zachery or zan or kej - or even the way i care for computer game characters. so i think i'll try focus on that a bit more. not just writing to get stuff done, but actually coming out with a character i care about and perhaps even a plot i care about. that would be cool.

yea... i read my zan / kej story again last night. it's not nearly as bad as i was expecting. the first half is kinda fun. the second half does lose it totally, but there is definitely stuff to work with in the re-write.

12 September 2008

my spore creature



i downloaded the trial creature creator of spore. it's very cute! that was my second attempt at making a creature. my first attempt didn't turn out so well.

random points of life

"Last updated 3 days ago." ooh - how did that happen? i'd like to say it was because i was just so busy doing world-building, but that would be a lie. i'm using liquid story binder (which tracks the amount of time you spend with it's window open) and i write for only half the time i spend in front of my computer. on some day last week i had my computer on (supposedly writing) from 12pm to 9pm and i only had story binder open for 4.5 hours. that's really bad :/ i should try harder to motivate myself.

i do have an excuse for today, though. it was the first day of the mind, body, spirit festival and i spent the whole day in the city hall randomly wandering around the stalls. it was fun. it's good to just wander and look at shiny crystals and flick through hippy books and hang around my parent's stall.

i got started on my genrechallenge for this month. i'd like to get it written kinda fast, so that i can spend longer on editing. i did no (or minimal) editing for last month's one.

my cd drive decided to work for me last night and i stayed up until 1am playing oblivion. it was so much fun. my non-fighting / merchant character now owns the manor in skingrad. it's such a pretty place to live :)

ooh - i saw a church hall for sale in the news paper the other day. if i had quarter of a million i would totally buy it. it's always been my dream to live in a converted castle or church. that would rock like total coolness.

i have a telelphone interview on wednesday. i should care more about it, but i just don't. i've lost all confidence in society.

09 September 2008

guild wars part 2

genrechallenge has started a sister-comm: genrechallenge art (gc_art). this is going to be so great. i'm really excited about something that can get me drawing every month. i like drawing, even though i may not be very good at it, but i just don't spend enough time at it. i'd like to improve, but you can't improve if you never do anything. so hopefully my excitement will transmute into motivation and i'll be getting at least one drawing-thing done every month. yeay.

lordkilljoy and i played guild wars for a few hours last night. it was so much fun. (woah - i just rubbed my cheek and it's so soft - i exfoliated in the shower. i never exfoliate, maybe i should...) we roamed the country-side delivering things and killing monsters and getting killed occasionally, but it was good. lordkilljoy was the tactician of the evening - i just wandered around looking at pretty things and thinking up a name for my pet cat! heh - nah, i wasn't that bad. i have one good spell that does 19 damage - i used it lots and shot my bow at things and sikked my cat on things. yeay.

yesterday i created a long list of animals that exist on earth so that i would have a good base to work from for random animals in the world of my novel. random animals don't even come into the story, but if i want the world to feel richer, they should.

i didn't sleep well last night. i woke at 3 feeling very thirsty and didn't get back to sleep until after 5. note to self: do not eat a lunch-worthy meal of tuna and relish on toast at 11pm. it's not good for sleeping. and my brain just wouldn't be quiet. between images of guild wars and ideas about animals and other random things, like random songs and directions for my life, sleep just was not happening. i have a feeling i'll be tired this evening. oh well.

07 September 2008

guild wars

i installed guild wars today. lordkilljoy gave me a 14 day trial to see how i like it. it's fun enough, and the world is so pretty. as i do with pretty games, i spent most of the time i played it today wandering around going: awh - that's so pretty. so i'm playing a mesmer / ranger. i wasn't sure what else would suit a mesmer, and rangers get pets, so i thought "why not?"

i watched a film called "the fountain" last night. it was interesting. it affected me the same way requiem for a dream did (it's the same director). it is very different to anything else i've seen, but i would recommend it if you like indie / alternative movies. it's not quite arthouse, but it's close.

aether_muse is back after her trip to america. it was good to see her again today.

we've got black hawk down to watch tonight. i saw it when it was in the cinema and even though i don't remember anything about it, i seem recall that it was good.

not much else to say. i'm quite looking forward to going adventuring around ascalon with lordkilljoy. it'll be something interesting, because the only other experience i have with mmos was with aether_muse when she tried to get me into wow.

right. i'm gone.

[edit - actually, i just want to say that jeremy soule totally did the music for guild wars. while i was waiting for 12,223 files to download before i could play the game there was some music playing and i was totally in bruma in cyrodill. it made me want to play oblivion again and wander around the cold northern areas in the falling snow. ahhh oblivion.]

05 September 2008

i have ink all over my fingers

i got a new a4 pad today - one with narrow lines. i think standard lines on a4 pads are too far apart, narrow lines keep everything neat and small.
anyway, as you do with new a4 pads (well, most people probably don't) you have to christen the first page with some writing. so i started writing randomly, nothing special and switching pens and writing hands, when i remembered my fountain pen. it seems that travelling across the world needed lots of space in my brain for memories and dealing with new experiences and learning new stuff, so my brain chucked out some old stuff. one of the things that got chucked out was my memory of party shuffle. the other thing was my fountain pen. so i remembered it for the first time today, but thanks to my amazing organizational ability, i knew exactly where it was. it was in my pencil case, along with some pencils, 2 rubbers (erasers), a parer (pencil-sharpener), a permanent marker, a gel pen, some lip balm and my genie fork and spoon which i got in disneyland tokyo (which i had also totally forgotten about).
so i just spent the last while cleaning my fountain pen - it was manky - a whole cartridge of ink had died in it (which is to say it had dried up and stuck to the nib and the barrel and the top). but it cleaned up well and all is good again.

yea, so today has been good. i started my world-building. it's going well enough. and i got a white shirt in case i ever get an interview.

yea. i havn't much else to say...

04 September 2008

some big news

i kept meaning to update, i just kept forgetting.

it's turned cold here, cold like winter, cold like it stings your nose when you breathe in. i'm wearing a jumper and gloves today. still, i'm kind of excited about winter. the last winter i had was a year ago, in new zealand.
the thermometer in my room read 17.4 degrees earlier. it's sayiing 20.1 now. a computer is an amazing room warming apparatus, really. lets you update your journal and listen to music while heating your room. woo!

so - my big news of the week: i got new boots. lordkilljoy and i went on a slightly random road trip to limerick and i got them in wacky shoes. wacky shoes is also where i got my funky red boots a few years ago - it's just this godsend of a shoe shop - like zarkia's shoe shop or something.
and the trip ended up being doubly good because lordkilljoy got a present for his nephew (who is 1).

my other massive news is that i'm moving up to maynooth at the end of september. i still don't have a job, but actually being there will (hopefully) help me get a job a little quicker. i guess it will be a bit wierd for lordkilljoy to have me hanging out with him all the time and making a big mess with my stuff and invading his shelves with my books and dvds and my computer peripherals (graphics tablet, printer, pink mouse, etc). i'm quite excited about it.

i've been thinking about my novel too. there is a reason why i havn't been working on it so much recently and that is because it is deeply flawed and i have no idea how to fix it. a lot of things just don't make sense, mostly in the cultures in the worlds. so i'm thinking of going back to world-building and doing it properly. i totally concentrated on characters and plot before i started writing and didn't do proper world-building at all. which is fine. i'm ok with doing things higgledy-piggledy. i couldn't have done world-building first because the story is not about the world, it's about the characters. but now that the plot is well entrenched in my mind i can go back and play with the world all i want, and make it so that the characters are actually a product of where they are from rather than things just feeling random. and what i also didn't want was the world dictating the plot.
hmmmmmm. yea. i'll see how well that works out for me. i'm a very random person, and having to pin things down utterly gives me serious procrastination symptoms.

[edit - i really like this music. it's very mellow, and sort of ambient. but it reminds me of vangelis a lot.]

my dream last night

i had a strange dream last night. in it i was in a massive group of people - like a town or something and we were all running away from something scary. we ran up a hill and there were three big tents in the way. most people went around, but i went through because i knew it was shorter. but there were traps inside the tent (which i knew about beforehand) and it wasn't safe if you weren't careful. but i was careful. i stopped just inside the tent and looked around. a big pit opened out and down in front of me, filled with spikes and pressure traps. off to the left there was a ledge that had crumbled apart and mostly fallen into the pit.

i could see a person on the other side of the pit, standing where the ledge met the floor over there. he looked at me with no emotion - like a robot or a construct. so i started forward but got stuck and was too scared to move. then he came over and picked me up and carried me to the other side. the construct was liam and when we got to the other side i didn't want him to put me down, so i clung on to him. and since he was governed by a set of programming he didn't drop me, just held me and waited for me to let go myself.
the last bit i can remember was me clinging to his neck and him hunkered down to get me as close to the ground as possible without actually shoving me away.

yea. it was kinda wierd, but it didn't feel bad. it was one of those dreams where you feel utterly trusting of someone else - like they will support you through everything, and while this means giving up your own will, you don't mind because you trust them so much. it's a wonderful feeling, actually - no worries at all, just this kind of blissful acceptance that the other person has absolute control over you. hmm - i guess the main reason why it's a nice feeling is because you don't have to do anything for yourself. you just follow a set of instructions / let someone else do all your thinking and decision making.
of course, this feeling would never work in reality, but it's nice when it happens in dreams.

30 August 2008

today is my birthday

not much happening today. i went into town, to see if i may have missed any shoe shops. i had, but still didn't find any boots i like. oh well. i'm thinking of giving up on the whole boots thing and just getting a ds instead.

i'm making sushi for dinner tonight. we have miso - we didn't know what ingredients to buy for that, so we just got a packet. i hope it's nice.


are you male? if you are you should be ashamed reading something a girl dosn't want you reading. lordkilljoy, you are allowed because i will probably tell you all this anyway.

i got a new bra yesterday. i'm quite happy with it. it's got wires, which i usually can't stand wearing because they dig in in all sorts of uncomfortable places. but yesterday i got fed up with never being able to find a bra that fits properly and has a decent amount of support. so i went online and read up on bra sizes and how to know what to look for when you are trying on a bra. then i went to dunnes (because it was close and handy) and tried on about 5 different sizes. and that kind of guaranteed that i found the right size for me.
and i did find the right size for me and bought 2 new bras, a cute blue sort of one and a nice black one - both underwired, but the cool thing is that both of them are quite comfortable and supportive. yeay :) so i've been wearing the blue one today and it's working out well. the wires do poke in a bit (just right at the base) when i sit down for too long, but that has more to do with my bad posture that anything else (i think).


i'm still not sure if i'm going to go out tonight. i'll see if lordkilljoy and penelope_stone want to do anything. the mutton lane could be good, but will be absolutely packed on a saturday night. anyway. i'll see.

29 August 2008

Eire for the Eiresh

What follows is my entry for this month's . I'm somewhat uncertain about the quality of this story... well i'm certain it's not high quality. But i'm not sure how far from the mark it has fallen. The genre this month was alternative history, but i don't think i portrayed that in the story. I left the setting kind of vague. In fact, everything this kind of vague, except for the end, which i like (what does that say about me?). Anyway, enjoy, and comments are very welcome.

(Actually - i just want to add that i'm thrilled at actually getting my genre challenge done this month. I gave up on the last three i attempted.)

... ... ...

People danced their not quite carefree dances and smiled their not quite joyful smiles. Skirts twirled, blazers swooshed, canes rapped against the ground. All signs of a happy party, but I could see that it was forced. These people were not comfortable.

I watched them from my hidden vantage on a high-up window ledge. I looked down at their not quite merriment and nodded to myself. These people were ready to break and I would be the one to push them. I had no idea how wrong I was.

But I shouldn't begin here. This is now. We need to go back a little bit. To then. A few hours behind now. Back to a conversation.

"Let me go tonight," I said.

"Why tonight? It's too early. You'll spoil the surprise." Keerda said, harshly. Not in those words, but in his thick-accented Eiresh. I speak it well enough and understand it better, but I don't write it. I write in English; the language of my former country.

"What surprise?" I said. "They've been expecting an attack for months. The surprise is that we haven’t attacked the Pale before now."

His permanent frown deepened. "We're low on resources. With this big war happening overseas, all the guns have been snapped up by who knows what army."

It was his typical excuse. I think Keerda’s problem is that he lacks the balls to actually pull off a big raid.

“Do you want to live under Britain’s rule forever?” I said. “If you want to have Eire for the Eiresh, you’ll have to stand up against them. This is the time. They are distracted by their pointless war with Deutschland. If we strike now, while their resources here are low, we can weaken them to the point of retreat. The strongest city in the country will be yours. Let me go. Let me get a feel for the mood in Dubhlinn.”

Keerda looked at me, a special look he reserves for times when he doubts me, or doubts his decision to recruit me. He's waiting for a double cross, it's as clear as silver shining in the sun. But it will not happen. The British Empire owes me too much hardship for me to turn my coat. I want to see the great nation brought low, brought to suffering. I have no illusions that our humble plans for Dubhlinn will cause this downfall, but it is a start.

And that was how things began. With a short conversation, no positive outcome. I took his silence for agreement, and I left. Took a horse and headed southeast, to the coast just south of the barrier.

Dusk gave way grudgingly to night. The last few fingers of colour streaked across the indigo sky like the struggles of a dying man as I reached the Pale.

The Pale. It was like an entity, mystical and deadly. It was said that even to breathe its name would bring ill luck and disaster upon you and your whole family. A superstitious lot, these people of Eire. The Pale was nothing more than a few stakes, a bit of sharp wire, and men with guns patrolling their watchtowers.

I came to this particular place because the closest watchtower was over two miles away and sneaking past it was easy. I didn’t even have to sneak. I strolled casually along the beach, leading my horse, keeping the low dunes between the watchtower and me. If I jumped up onto the bank, I could see the lanterns burning at the top of the tower, ready to be flung into a pyre to signal a warning in case of invasion by the “savage” Eiresh.

“Get a feel for the mood in Dubhlinn,” I’d told Keerda. And that’s exactly what I did. The city felt tense. All the popular clubs harboured wary patrons who whispered in dimly lit corners. Words of dark deeds and darker intentions flitted from the booths and slunk around the well-appointed furniture.

For all the talk of the big war, it was news of a party at the Viceroy’s lodge in the Royal Hunting Park that followed me into and out of every club I visited. It was something big and everyone who was anyone would be there.

And that brings us up to now. The not quite smiling and not quite merriment. Their discomfort was palpable, like smoke blown into your face. I listened to the sporadic conversation that drifted up to me. Nothing enlightening, just the prattle of people trying to waste time.

I’d had just about enough, was ready to chalk this down as a waste of time, when the Viceroy took a position in the centre of the room.

“Welcome,” he said. “Most of you have been aware of correspondence between our small outpost and the crown, but none of you have been aware of details. The Eiresh have been scheming for years to invade the Pale and would have continued to do so without achieving anything. But things have changed. They now have the help of an Englishman.”

I almost gasped in shock. How could they know about me?

The Viceroy continued speaking. “We had eyes of our own in the Eiresh camp. The Englishman is riling things up for them, pushing them for invasion. The crown will not stand to be undermined in such a way. His Majesty has come up with a solution to this problem. A very permanent solution.”

He outlined a project that the colony in New England had been working on for the last few decades. Atomics, he called it. The unfamiliar term meant nothing to me, and seemingly little to most of the people in the room. But the Viceroy’s words frightened me. He spoke of a bomb so powerful it could level a whole city. A whole city. I needed to get back to Keerda and warn him.

I turned to sneak out the window I had come in, but the Viceroy’s next words froze me in mid-turn.

“We will test this bomb on the Eiresh tonight."

The ice released my muscles and, flinging open the window, I dashed through it and leapt to the ground. A cry of shock went up behind me, but I didn’t care. I ran to the stables, knocking over the stable boy who came out to see what the fuss was about. Grabbing the first horse I could, I hauled myself up onto his back and kicked him into a gallop.

The night was already well along and it was a few hours’ hard ride to Keerda’s camp. I headed straight west. The soldiers at the Pale were paid to stop people going into the city. They would comment on a rider pelting into the bogs, but they would not stop me.

The horse was strong under me, fast and steady, he seemed like he could gallop the whole night. And I was happy to let him go. I reached the Pale easily and without pursuit. A tiny portion of my mind knew why they had not bothered giving chase. My friends were dead, even if I reached them on time, I could not save them.

Confused shouts followed me through the Pale; guns traced my flight through the camp and my wild leap over the sharp wire and the trenches that came after. I did not dare stop. I had to warn Keerda, get him and his men away from the danger.

I was still a good distance out when the sky before me brightened. It was like watching the sunrise, only a lot faster. White light spread across the horizon, up and out, silhouetting the trees lining the path and the birds that fluttered from them. Silently, the light increased, creating an almost blinding contrast against the black sky.

I failed. I knew it before I fully registered what was going on. I was too close and I was about to die. The earth beneath my feet shook, setting up a clatter of small stones rattling along the path. Hard light cast solid shadows away from the explosion, the shadows quickly shortening as the light flared up into a terrifying and beautiful cloud.

I wanted to turn and run; I wanted to stay and watch the beauty of such massive destruction. I didn’t want to die. But at the same time I accepted fully that my death was upon me, and somehow the acceptance calmed me.

Silently, the light engulfed me.